August 2024 Ministry Reflection
The first time I entered the parish that would eventually become my own, I was shocked at how small, even cozy, the space was. The low ceilings and recessed lighting not only trapped the smell of the incense but also made the wafts of smoke glow with mystery. I was intrigued. I was captivated.
But it wasn’t until coffee hour that the real magic happened.
I met the people, and they welcomed me with open arms and curious hearts. Children. Adults. Peers. All of them wanted to meet me, and even more, they wanted to know me.
One thing was clear: this was a family. No. This was the Family.
Many of them lived within walking distance of one another, and even members of the community who could have afforded to live in the upper echelons of society chose to buy homes in the neighborhood that was affordable to the most amount of parishioners. They called it, “The Patch.”
Saturday evenings after Vespers were usually spent at someone’s house in the Patch. These gatherings were always intergenerational, accompanied by great food and even better conversation. In the warmer months, we’d sit inside and play group games. The winter months called for backyard fires and stories.
No image of the Church is more central in the Scriptures than that of a family. The New Testament writers use the word adelphoi (“brothers and sisters”) 343 times to describe the relationship that Christians are to have with one another.
Individual spirituality was never the intention of Jesus, nor was it the way that the earliest Christians understood the Church.
While parishes across the country are experiencing unprecedented numbers of conversion and growth, we must ask ourselves whether this is truly the Christian metric of success. Just because a family continues to add members, it doesn’t mean the family is healthy.
Rather than looking for our parishes to get bigger, perhaps the invitation of the Holy Spirit is to consider how our parishes can go deeper.
So how can we nudge our parishes in this direction? How can we place close, cross-generational relationships at the center of everything we do as we seek to live into Jesus’ own vision of the Church as His Family?
One clear practice emerges above the others in the way of Jesus that will push us into deeper relational spaces: Hospitality.
Practice hospitality with one another, without grumbling (1 Peter 4:9).
If you’re looking to become a Christian community that embodies the Family of God, practice hospitality.
We have spent so much time and energy balancing budgets, developing resources, vetting curricula, and planning events, that we have forgotten that the early Church thrived simply through gathering regularly in one another’s homes. So, too, we can reclaim this practice by simply hosting others regularly.
Here’s a few ideas to start:
Create spaces where cross-generational relationships become possible, perhaps by inviting an older, faithful member of the parish to speak to a Sunday School class about their faith journey.
Host an event where older members of a parish can teach others (across generations) how to cook a few dishes. End your evening by sharing the meal.
After discovering the parishioners to whom you live closest, plan a day where all the families can gather for a picnic and build relationships with the Christians nearest to you.
Figure out which people in the parish live closest to you, and meet weekly for a community meal.
Practice a weekly Sabbath, where all members of your family put away devices and say “no” to other social engagements; use the time to stop, rest, delight in one another, and to grow closer as an immediate family unit. If you’d like, invite others to participate in your Sabbath.
Ask young people in your parish about the adults whose faith they admire, and work as an “intergenerational matchmaker,” pairing young people with older adults for the sake of mentorship.
There is no “right way” or “wrong way” to practice hospitality. These are just a few ideas to get you started. The reality is that we were made for relationships. We were made to be incorporated into the Family of God.
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